One of the more troubling things I have observed in myself and in others is a desire to be noticed, admired, appreciated, thought of as the brightest bulb in the room, and so on. Affirmation is a drug. Most drugs, if given at the right time and in the right quantity, can do much good. So, it is with affirmation. A bit here and a bit there -applied with a right and sincere motive - is quite enough to keep us on our feet. But, for many of us, we move about like crazed addicts seeking a fix when it comes to affirmation. We desperately want to be singled out for our wit, wisdom, sacrifice, spirituality, giftedness and good works. Now, the really adept among us are able to pretend as if we do not want to be singled out, when in fact, we really do. But either way, when such notice fails to arrive in sufficient quantities and in tightly modulated frequencies, we suffer much.
I remember many times - after leading worship, or preaching what I thought an incredibly insightful message - sort of waiting around for someone from my family to comment. When no one took notice of my sighs and my fidgeting about, I began fishing: "Well, that was a good service today, wasn't it?" "Yeah dad...yep, a dandy...what's for lunch?" Or, "Hey honey, did you get what I was talking about?" "Uh, huh. It was good." Inside, I went Vesuvius..."Good??? My gosh - do you have any idea of the hours I poured into that 40 minute message. Good??? How about, awesome? How about: That message defined my life and my purpose. You touched the very ground of my being. You made my soul soar. I now want to be a missionary, a Sunday School teacher, fight poverty, cure cancer, run for President, and pray 8 hours a day." That's the sort of thing my grade USDA flesh wanted to hear.
And here's the thing...the very strange thing - Jesus Himself wants to affirm us - but in much the same, understated way. He has promised to His faithful followers that at the end of our days, when we stand before Him, He will say to us: "Well done, good and faithful servant." How nice. But wait a minute. That doesn't sound like much either. Yes, yes consider the source. After all, it is Jesus saying those words. But it sounds like little more than a verbal pat on the head.
I have thought about this future moment a lot over the years. Thousands of sermons preached, thousands of hours in prayer, skills mastered, sacrifices made, people helped - and what do I get? "Good job, Curt. Welcome to heaven. Have a look around. It's a great place. Next!" I suppose my over-active imagination has a diminishing effect on the real majesty of that which the Scripture is attempting to convey. But doesn't this simple exchange remind you a bit of a commencement exercise? You stand in line, slowly move up the steps, and then, finally, it is your turn in the spotlight. A guy hands you a degree, you both pan for the camera, flash a hideous grin , you see a blur of family members shamelessly shoving people aside to snap pictures - there is grandma, there's dad, there's your uncle - and then, "Bam!", it is over. "Get off the stage - you're holding up traffic. The next "well done" needs to be greeted." Honestly, I have received more enthusiasm and affirmation from a waitress, or an insurance agent or Expedia.com.
What was I expecting? Jesus doing cartwheels? A band? A speech from a born-again Senator? I don't really know. But, this humble welcome is a more than a little puzzling. 6 words. (7 words if you include the "thou" from the King James). A lifetime summed up in six words. Puzzling. I would have expected more. And there's the zinger: expectations. That word. The great killer of relationships. The lurking demon of division. Expectations. Or, better yet - wrongful expectations. How many times have we found ourselves in major conflict because someone didn't live up to our expectations? Someone didn't pick up after themselves. Someone didn't put the dishes away. Someone dumped out a fresh load of laundry from the dryer and the dog made a bed on it. Someone didn't return our affections. You see, wrongful expectations have a way of fast-tracking us toward self-pity, toward martyrdom, toward anger and depression.
Somewhere in this equation we must come to grips with expectations. Just what was it we were expecting when we signed on with a man that the prophet Isaiah describes with such unflattering terms as this: "He doesn't have a body or a face that when we look at Him causes us any desire. He is despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and well acquainted with grief - so much so - that we hid our faces from Him...?" Jesus would one day tell his disciples: "You know guys, the servant is not greater than the Master." And, "In this world you will have tribulations..." That is simply Jesus way of saying that what is good for the goose is good for the gander.
You want to know something about rightful expectations? Read those words of Jesus again. To counter wrongful expectations Jesus offers to the willing a narrow, mysterious and not so well trod path to follow with a little sign above it that reads: Obscurity. Obscurity is the private delight of a servant of Jesus. Obscurity - allowing God to work through us to heal, comfort, and to reconcile - without fanfare is a great secret and a great blessing. In those few moments in life when I have been healthy enough to walk in this truth, I have felt the pleasure and the presence of God in ways that could almost be described as delirious. I have felt His pleasure - His singing over me. When, however, I have whined and pined about not being appreciated or noticed - the distance to heaven grew to light year proportions. And there is this: that one troubling passage about those guys who showed up for commencement exercises and proceeded to carry on about how great they were in life, how many miracles they performed, how many demons they had cast out, how much money they had raised, and such - and what did Jesus say? "Depart from me. Shoo! I never knew you."
So you see, Jesus offers us the grace of obscurity, of learning to do the right thing when no one else is paying attention, of entering by the narrow and low gate of servanthood. It is where He lived His life when He was on this earth. It is where He lives out His life now.
4 comments:
Great medicine CJ. It's funny, those few words that Jesus will express to us when we join him in eternity shake me up and bring me to my knees every time I think of them. I think it is because I am pretty convinced that with all of the ilk in my life, I am undeserving of such kind words. Maybe something more like "Man that performance really sucked...you could have done much better, but I'm gonna let you in anyway." But instead, "Well done good and faithful servant. Your name is written in the book of life, enter." Recognition and aknowledgement, we all need some, undeniably. Good stuff CJ. (my way of saying that was awesome!)
Thanks, CJ, that was a great insight. This one really hits home - I like praise, recognition - ministering in obscurity is not what comes naturally to us so much of the time. But, the praise means so much more when it comes from someone that I care about - a family member, my husband, a close friend, where even a simple "thanks" can go a long way. So the thought of even the seemingly simple 6 words, "well done..." from my Savior and King, when compared to all that He has done for me, makes me want to do more for Him, to know Him better....My thoughts are interrupted when I hear, "Hey mom, you just missed the turn to school!" Little steps. Today, I'm just working toward, "well done, mom."
Well CJ, This brings up many interesting thoughts!! I agree we all want affirmation at times and mostly when we know we have made some right choices. (My senerio) Last Thursday, I had reservation "as a stand-by passenger" to go to Phoenix, which was weight restricted from Phoenix to Santa Barbara they said the plane was on a mechanical. I hesitantly decided to go anyway at least to Phoenix. What amazes me when i got to Phoneix - i'm walking up to the gate where the next plane is leaving in 5 minutes to Santa Barbara. "While i was grumbling, Jesus was walking ahead of me and i'm on the plane and landing as should have been. That was a quick affirmation and expectancy met. However, later I'm feeling very excited that the Lord had met my needs again, but really discusted in my faith walk and trust of who was in control. And the picture was the same going back. I share this knowing that our faith walk doesn't always mean it will turn out the way we think - and you know what - thats okay, because it will be even better. Our obedience brings character building so He can do what He needs to do whenever, wherever. I am far from being worthy, but so thankful.. Thanks for the reminder!
There is so much there, it is impossible to take it all in just reading it once. More like a 4 course meal! And Biblical - John 7:18 "He who speaks on his own does so to gain honor for himself, but he who works for the honor of the one who sent him is a man of truth; there is nothing false about him." And Jesus himself, as our ultimate example - as soon as he was receiving honor and recognition (the ride on the donkey - hosanna and praise), he knew it was time to die. Too often we let ourselves get caught up in the honor and glory and don't realize when it's time to die. Regarding expectations, I've always felt that was why the Jews didn't recognize Jesus as the Messiah. Their expectations of what he would do and be weren't met - he did not take over the throne (at least the earthly one) and so he couldn't possibly be the Messiah. But all the signs were there if they could have put their expectations aside. I know in my life they are an ugly thing - causing strife in our household where there should be peace. I am thoroughly enjoying reading the tasty morsels that God is feeding to you these days!
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