Humor Me - Part 10, The Ironic Grumbler

Here we go again. I haven’t had time lately to be profound – hopefully profundity is just around the corner. So, once more, we will have to survive on the thinner gruel of humor. The subject at hand is a word or two about my imminent arrival at the big “five-oh.”

I was born August 3^rd, 1959. I was a large baby – right at 9 pounds. My mom likes to remind me that I nearly killed her when I came screaming, gasping and grasping into this world...........She remembers seeing Jesus.

Even then I preferred to be left to myself in confined spaces – a trait that would prove useful to the future student, teacher & scholar I would become. I create private library annexes wherever I go – a living room, a closet, the bathroom…someone else’s bathroom – and I still do not like to be disturbed. When the “bother” of labor came knocking, mom tells me that I tried to grab a kidney on the way out. She had to undergo emergency surgery to reattach that which I had dislodged. I no longer go for kidneys, but I do grumble when someone knocks on the bathroom door.

And grumbling is something you just find yourself doing the older you get – a sort of: “You kids- get off my lawn!” mentality. I loved the movie “Gran Torino” not so much for its stellar acting, but for the grumbling. Clint Eastwood may be one dimensional in his acting, but the man can grumble. He has made an entire career of it – all the way back to “Dirty Harry.” I am just getting the hang of it. My wife would like everyone to know that I am making good progress.

I have practiced my grumbling recently over the following e-mails: “Would you like to meet hot, single, senior women in your area?’ “The AARP wants you!” And, “Make an appointment now to plan your funeral.”

I believe that there are two kinds of grumblers. One type of grumbler is humorless, mean-spirited and toxic. The other is what I would call an “ironic” grumbler. An ironic grumbler has lived long enough to see the short shelf life of trends, tastes, fads, fashions, political stars, “big ideas” and such. With wry grin, twinkle of eye and subtly lifted eyebrow he chuckles at the human condition – and at himself. I am firmly in the camp of the latter. “Vanity, vanity – all is vanity” observed Solomon from his kingly perch. The ironic grumbler says: “Hear, hear…harrumph, harrumph…guffaw, chuckle.”

One of the great mistakes we make is to relate chronological age with either wisdom or maturity. I have met wise and mature people who were in their teens. I have met people in their 60’s & 70’s who were terribly immature and unwise. But, one of the other great mistakes we make is to assume that those who laugh easily are immature - that somehow, a grave countenance signals maturity. Hogwash! (Grumble)… According to Scripture, Solomon was one of the wisest persons ever to walk the planet. He said this: “A merry heart makes a happy face…” Proverbs 15:13a; and this, “…for the merry heart, life is a continual feast.” Proverbs 15:15b; and also this: “A merry heart is good medicine…” Proverbs 17:22a. I like to think that Solomon wrote this after riding around in his chariot and saying to one of his buddies, “Hey, get a load of that…”

And this is really encouraging to me -a neophyte, ironic grumbler. For those who study comedy – irony is considered the highest form of humor because of its observational and subtle quality. (On the same comedy scale, the pun is considered the lowest form of humor, but I think that was before anyone saw a Carrot –Top routine).

And finally this - there is just the “guy thing” as it relates to humor. I have not broached this subject yet in any of these writings because of some fear of being considered crass or immature. But you know, now that I am approaching 50 – I just don’t care. A fart is just as funny to me now as it was at the age of five. A man who cannot appreciate a good blast, to him I say: “Good day sir! I said, ‘GOOD DAY.’ We have nothing in common.”

Grumble, grumble…