“In the Greek/Roman tale told by Ovid, Echo, a nymph, falls in love with a vain youth named Narcissus, who was the son of the blue Nymph Leirope of Thespia. One day when Narcissus was out hunting, Echo stealthily followed the handsome youth through the woods, longing to address him but unable to speak first. When Narcissus finally heard footsteps and
shouted "Who's there?” Echo answered "Who's there?" And so it went, until finally Echo showed herself and rushed to embrace the lovely youth. He pulled away from the nymph and vainly told her to leave him alone. Narcissus left Echo heartbroken and she spent the rest of her life in lonely glens, pining away for the love she never knew, until only her voice remained. Eventually he became thirsty and went to drink from a stream. As he saw his reflection, he fell in love with it, not knowing that it was him. As he bent down to kiss it, it seemed to "run away" and he was heart broken. He grew thirstier but he wouldn't touch the water for fear of damaging his reflection, so he eventually passed away by dying of thirst and self love, staring at his own reflection. The Narcissus flower grew from where he died.” – Wikipedia
shouted "Who's there?” Echo answered "Who's there?" And so it went, until finally Echo showed herself and rushed to embrace the lovely youth. He pulled away from the nymph and vainly told her to leave him alone. Narcissus left Echo heartbroken and she spent the rest of her life in lonely glens, pining away for the love she never knew, until only her voice remained. Eventually he became thirsty and went to drink from a stream. As he saw his reflection, he fell in love with it, not knowing that it was him. As he bent down to kiss it, it seemed to "run away" and he was heart broken. He grew thirstier but he wouldn't touch the water for fear of damaging his reflection, so he eventually passed away by dying of thirst and self love, staring at his own reflection. The Narcissus flower grew from where he died.” – Wikipedia Aren’t words great? To think that our national psyche finds both its hero and its definition from this ancient myth is remarkable. We are living in a narcissistic society. Narcissism is defined as: inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love; vanity. I rarely post much on this blog that would hint at political sensibilities, but I do find it amazing that one of our candidates for President – the one lacking any notable achievements or experience – has managed to write a couple of books about his favorite subject – himself. In the climate of our day, his candidacy makes perfect sense.
One of the great battles of the Christian faith is to squarely set our shoulders against the push of narcissism that attacks from within and without. The “without” is perhaps the easier of the two to combat. We can simply practice a modified form of Amish-ism by turning down and tuning out the popular culture which blares at us from newsstands, televisions and radios. But, I kind of think that even the Amish have the same problem as it relates to the - “within” - as me …which of course is “me.” I cannot seem to turn down or tune out me. “Me” is a noisy little chap that craves attention, affirmation, admiration, adoration, silence (from others), and is self-serving, self-promoting, self-centered and a host of other naughty things. For a comfortable narcissist-read: much of culture – there is no problem with being a narcissist. It is the air that they breathe. However, for people of faith, it is a serious problem to be addressed and only people of faith continue to push this rock uphill. Internal narcissism is a spiritual condition in need of a spiritual remedy.
But herein lies the problem. To fight the battle against “fascination with oneself”, where is it we go to fight the battle? To ourselves. To wage war against the decaying effects of internal narcissism it seems that we have to be imbued with a measure of self-love and fascination with oneself, i.e. narcissism, to even give it a go. Are we then running the risk of fighting the devil within us with devilish tools?
I think that we can begin to work our way toward an answer by thinking about flight safety instructions – you know – the ones we never pay attention to as we thumb though our sticky Sky Mall catalogue. There has always been one instruction that is given that is perhaps the most counter-intuitive of all instructions and it goes roughly like this: “In the event of a sudden decrease in air pressure or oxygen, your oxygen masks will automatically fall on your head.” (Or something like that). So far so good. But it is the next line that has always bugged me. “If you are travelling with an infant or small child, make sure you put your mask on first and get the flow of oxygen going before you assist your child.” I know of no parent, even a narcissistic one, that isn’t troubled by that scenario. The thought of me calmly inhaling life-giving oxygen while my precious child is thrashing about next to me, turning blue and questioning with his or her little eyes: “Why Daddy? Why are you so selfish? Why are you thinking of yourself first? And Daddy, why, oh why are you so….what is the word (cough, cough, gasp) …narcissistic?” - is unnerving.
The wisdom of the airline in giving this instruction is simple. If you lose the parent you lose the child. An unconscious mom or dad is of no use to the little one. Thus, a “save yourself first” mandate makes perfect sense.
Can this idea of “saving yourself first” – the ultimate expression of a narcissist – be a legitimate pursuit of the Christian? The answer is yes. There is an extremely self-centered aspect of being a Christian that is the prerequisite for doing others any good. Without the understanding and practice of this God-bidden call to self-interest, we will be useless to God, useless to the world and useless – ultimately- to ourselves.
This is one of the many paradoxes of the Christian faith. Jesus said that the greatest commands go along the lines of: “(1) Love the Lord your God with all of your heart, soul, mind and strength; and, (2) love your neighbor as (3) you love yourself.” While we may not fully practice the first command, we can at least understand what Jesus is getting at. And the second one, to love our neighbors is a fine idea agreed upon by many even outside the Christian faith. But, it is that last part, number 3 that plays with our minds. What does it mean to love our neighbors as we love ourselves? Might I suggest that our failure to understand, much less practice the latter, could be one of the reasons Christianity has lost a substantial amount of its influence? Could it be that our lack of self-love (our lack of narcissism) makes the second command – to love our neighbors – absolutely impossible? Could it be that we have been trying to place the oxygen mask in the wrong order – hoping to help or “fix” others before we ourselves have had a good snort of clean air? Could be…could be…
We’ll pick up here next time... Be well blessed.
One of the great battles of the Christian faith is to squarely set our shoulders against the push of narcissism that attacks from within and without. The “without” is perhaps the easier of the two to combat. We can simply practice a modified form of Amish-ism by turning down and tuning out the popular culture which blares at us from newsstands, televisions and radios. But, I kind of think that even the Amish have the same problem as it relates to the - “within” - as me …which of course is “me.” I cannot seem to turn down or tune out me. “Me” is a noisy little chap that craves attention, affirmation, admiration, adoration, silence (from others), and is self-serving, self-promoting, self-centered and a host of other naughty things. For a comfortable narcissist-read: much of culture – there is no problem with being a narcissist. It is the air that they breathe. However, for people of faith, it is a serious problem to be addressed and only people of faith continue to push this rock uphill. Internal narcissism is a spiritual condition in need of a spiritual remedy.
But herein lies the problem. To fight the battle against “fascination with oneself”, where is it we go to fight the battle? To ourselves. To wage war against the decaying effects of internal narcissism it seems that we have to be imbued with a measure of self-love and fascination with oneself, i.e. narcissism, to even give it a go. Are we then running the risk of fighting the devil within us with devilish tools?
I think that we can begin to work our way toward an answer by thinking about flight safety instructions – you know – the ones we never pay attention to as we thumb though our sticky Sky Mall catalogue. There has always been one instruction that is given that is perhaps the most counter-intuitive of all instructions and it goes roughly like this: “In the event of a sudden decrease in air pressure or oxygen, your oxygen masks will automatically fall on your head.” (Or something like that). So far so good. But it is the next line that has always bugged me. “If you are travelling with an infant or small child, make sure you put your mask on first and get the flow of oxygen going before you assist your child.” I know of no parent, even a narcissistic one, that isn’t troubled by that scenario. The thought of me calmly inhaling life-giving oxygen while my precious child is thrashing about next to me, turning blue and questioning with his or her little eyes: “Why Daddy? Why are you so selfish? Why are you thinking of yourself first? And Daddy, why, oh why are you so….what is the word (cough, cough, gasp) …narcissistic?” - is unnerving.
The wisdom of the airline in giving this instruction is simple. If you lose the parent you lose the child. An unconscious mom or dad is of no use to the little one. Thus, a “save yourself first” mandate makes perfect sense.
Can this idea of “saving yourself first” – the ultimate expression of a narcissist – be a legitimate pursuit of the Christian? The answer is yes. There is an extremely self-centered aspect of being a Christian that is the prerequisite for doing others any good. Without the understanding and practice of this God-bidden call to self-interest, we will be useless to God, useless to the world and useless – ultimately- to ourselves.
This is one of the many paradoxes of the Christian faith. Jesus said that the greatest commands go along the lines of: “(1) Love the Lord your God with all of your heart, soul, mind and strength; and, (2) love your neighbor as (3) you love yourself.” While we may not fully practice the first command, we can at least understand what Jesus is getting at. And the second one, to love our neighbors is a fine idea agreed upon by many even outside the Christian faith. But, it is that last part, number 3 that plays with our minds. What does it mean to love our neighbors as we love ourselves? Might I suggest that our failure to understand, much less practice the latter, could be one of the reasons Christianity has lost a substantial amount of its influence? Could it be that our lack of self-love (our lack of narcissism) makes the second command – to love our neighbors – absolutely impossible? Could it be that we have been trying to place the oxygen mask in the wrong order – hoping to help or “fix” others before we ourselves have had a good snort of clean air? Could be…could be…
We’ll pick up here next time... Be well blessed.
